Duck Dynasty Beard Booth: Possibly America's greatest achievement

I have a friend who tends to fall for guys with bushy facial hair. The romances never quite work out. We tease her that she’s only into “weirdo beardos.” She could use this app on Match.com profile pics to mentally trick herself into accepting a date with a clean-shaven gentleman caller.

I have another friend who stays at home with his two adorable boys. He uses this app to imagine what they would look like if (when?) they became members of ZZ Top.

See how great? I told you.

Then there’s my friend whose South American tour isn’t going so well. Maybe he would feel better about himself if he had a big beard to stroke when making decisions such as whether it’s a good idea to kick the Brazilian flag while performing in Brazil. I hear beard-stroking really helps the thought process, so hopefully that still works if the beard is confined to a photo on your phone’s touchscreen.

Look, Duck Dynasty Beard Booth is a great app. It’s free. It lets you put beards on your photos. That’s all it does. That’s all it ever needs to do.

You can use the app to shoot a new photo with a beard already in it, but that’s the trickier way to do it. It’s easier to start with a photo you already have, add as many beards as you like (hint: one for every person, dog, cat, and any other animal), and reposition and resize them with your fingers.

Then you can use a pen to draw a little face on one of your fingers, take a picture of that, and put a beard on that too. Since you’re putting beards on things.

If you are still reading this instead of putting beards on all your pictures, I salute your dedication to finishing articles and urge you to mosey over to the iOS or Android app store and get this app. You shan’t regret it.

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