Single on Valentine's Day? Use tech to take revenge
It's February 14th. Are you single, lonely, perhaps a tad bitter?
Valentine's Day can be an emotional hazard zone for singles—a day where the unattached peer over cube walls at obnoxiously ostentatious floral bouquets arriving for others, or go out to eat, only to be surrounded by creepy cooing couples.
If you're single and not loving your freedom, you may wonder what to do with yourself today. We're here to help.
Single and proud?
We're guessing you spend quite a bit of quality time with Ramen soup and your smartphone. If so, this new product promises to make your life much, much easier. MisoSoupDesign's Anti-Loneliness Ramen Bowl will look just right on your desk—and it's billed as a perfect combo for tech-crazed singles. We’re loving this item as a high concept. Unfortunately it isn't available—just like a lot of people—in time for the world's loneliest day, but probably will sell like crazy once it is.
We can't wait to order one.
Single but seek online company?
If this is you, well, thank goodness this is the 21st century.
You may remember the buzz several years ago about a similar site called Chatroulette, which randomly paired you up with a stranger via webcam.
Unfortunately, for most users of Chatroulette, your stranger generally didn't have his pants on. That often was a bit of a conversation stopper. The site is still in business, but the whole pants thing left kind of a bad impression.
Well, Omegle is a newer random video chat service that appears to project a more wholesome image.
It offers the opportunity to name a topic you'd like to talk about, so you can actually have something in common with your special random stranger. That topic could be "skiing," but if it's, "I don't like to wear pants on webcam," at least you know you're with your own kind.
The app asks you to say when and where you'd like to meet a warm and sensitive human being like yourself, and once you do that, it promises to set you up with someone from its database.
The app page says "Dating has never been so easy—or so much fun." We're going to trust them on that.
Imagine, just 15 years ago, you'd have to actually go out all by yourself, walk into a bar, and try to jumpstart a conversation. In person. Using your voice. Without a keyboard.
Now that's excruciating.
Single and bitter?
It's easy to have heightened emotions on February 14th. Sometimes those feelings aren't positive.
For instance, if you've recently endured a nasty breakup, you might need to vent. And there's an app or two out there to help you do that.
One provocative newcomer is Yell & Destroy, an iOS app that helps you virtually eradicate unhappy memories captured by photos. (We know you have a lot of Instagram photos of your former honey taken back when things were good, that you really need to obliterate right now.)
So, if you just can’t stand the sight of those goopy images anymore—and are in possiession of a healthy vindictive streak—Yell & Destroy iOS is there for you.
Here's how it works.
1. Pick a photo with a person you now hate.
2. Record video while you fling a choice of virtual mud, eggs, or tomatoes at your picture (video and missiles all provided by the app).
3. Save the thing and then share on your social networks like Facebook or Twitter.
Remember, after this, there's no crawling back.
Single but reaching out?
Finally, instead emailing mushy Valentines, you can go to a site like JibJab.com and choose an irreverent video ecard for someone like you.
The only one we feel comfortable discussing here is the Shoot Cupid, whose tagline changes from "Love Is in the Air" to "Love Was in the Air" when something bad happens to the young god of love as he flies through the sky.
What makes this so special is that the evil deed is performed by a character that has your face (which you supply via a photo upload).
Shoot Cupid and many other video cards here are available to JibJab members only (membership is $1 a month). Note: Not all cards are work-safe or mom-friendly. Many, in fact, skirt the edge of good taste or cross over it. But that's why you're here, right?
Single and very angry?
Yes, you are angry. No, it's not OK and everything is not going to be alright. So, perhaps you'd like to try The Ex knife set and holder? Need we say more?